“Tucked inside the dry curl of a maple leaf, one last bloom from a phlox plant that didn’t have much vigor in the summer, yet offered a surprise for the end times. It’s always about what’s hidden, unexpected or invisible in its present context. You can ignore such things, and many do, but those who hit bottom often can’t help but see these ironic truths. I was so happy to meet warm soil this morning, to rake & cut & gather from the most forgotten edges of my gardens. To witness the surface life of delicate plants falling back down to their roots. At the same time, I wasn’t so sure how I like the property manager of this place. After close to 20 years, his attitude is still unhelpful, and he wouldn’t think of working with me, to divide our final clean up in a sensible way. I ponder who should be in charge of the leaf clean up where, but ultimately, I do more than my share. A pain in the ass, with the recent snow, with my reliance on the limited bed of a four wheeled machine, to cart off the litter. A case in point, some folks don’t use email because they honestly can’t master the technology. Others don’t use it, because they are dedicated to not making anything easier for anyone else. Once when I was stranded with a flat tire I put a call in to his number, left a message, & he never called back. Never mind. He has some problems. I’ve learned not to rely on people like him. I think he had stomach cancer; I give him a pass. The sooner I get over the horror of examining the type of people I’ve depended on, the sooner I can breathe again. It’s an incredible, inscrutable ride to be ridden with reckless abandon until you know better & have alternatives. Just like the grass I pulled up in clumps today, which I realized would just as soon enliven the compost pile as a formal area. Folks who have no interest in being helpful, will continue to not be helpful. Toss them over the bank. And drive into the twilit autumnal dusk as if you had true love.. A home, a hearth, a candle lit altar respecting everything you hold dear, standing firm in the face of outer, encroaching forces. Take it literally or as a metaphor, we are at that cross roads. Pulling into an empty house at night, met by animals who manage to hold down the fort, I send my thanks to the great arbiter who sees us not as left and right, but as allies. We’ve been tricked into thinking we are so very far apart, based on paradigms fed to us on the telly and the radio. No, lovely neighbor. I love your spunk, your homespun wisdom, your jokes. With me, be yourself. It’s my problem if I don’t like you. But in all honestly, I cannot envision a better world without you.”
