“Snow is hard to capture. In motion, it flies but as a still, it’s brutal and intractable. I have to examine snow, every day. Dissect its properties, and make decisions, based on my assessments. On the car, on the solar panels, on the roof, on the wood pile, on the driveway, on the ground. How far down is the crust? How sticky will the surface become, over the course of the day? What is the ratio of melt to freeze? So much hinges on these answers. In a similar vein, it’s not fun to wake up in the middle of the night and realize the power system is down. No pumps, no refrigeration, no lights. No internet, no flushing. Nature can get the better of us. It’s nothing personal. But the kind of suffering that comes of faulty systems, sort of gets sidelined, when actual people take you down. Your husband, your wife, your trusted allies. What is it that seeks to corrupt family systems? So far removed from conduits and wiring, and architectural integrity. That which you thought of as inalienable. Well, friends, we live in a time of utter corruption. Take that, and walk up the steepest hill in your valley, and get lost with it. Press your boot into the hole, and feel the instability of your whole body, as it struggles to regain balance. Twist, and contort yourself, on the final leg of a hill gone suddenly treacherous. Stop and panic. Wonder, seriously, if you are going to make it out alive. Lean on a stick, or a ski pole, and pant, gasping for air, unsure of your heart muscle. Pointedly doubting every decision you’ve ever made, to push on. To reach outside of convention, to cut yourself loose from society’s norms. To test the very sinew of your soul. To possibly invite death. And live to tell the tale. Not any kind of elite athlete, but an Olympian as defined by raw mettle. That’s what we’re looking for. Courage, not posturing. Maybe I did ski eight months pregnant, to a remote lodge that’s no longer there near Mad River. A lost place, I remember as Plum Creek. Resonating in my innocence, before I knew I was gaslit. Before I knew I was betrayed. Before I knew I was strong enough to withstand anything. And pay it forward, to safeguard every beautiful being, so hopeful, so betrayed.”
