“A scant third of the group went up, to the cliff and the ravens’ world of conifers & sky. I’ve never felt good staying tethered to a ravine that’s losing its water, and then its direction. You can feel it in your bones, when the drift of your navigation is no longer oriented properly or anchored to a way thru, a.k.a reality. Or, at least, I do. If I’ve accomplished anything, in this life. And what’s miraculous, besides the land, are the one or two crossing your path who actually have skill. Who prove to you, quietly, understatedly, that they can run the boat, while you’re busy engaging with fear and needing to flounder for a bit. They’ve watched, evidently, and witnessed, evidently, and longed to move in, and yet ... your loner-ism, part cave dweller, hermit streak wards off any direct overtures that smell of “I’ll save you”. Your trigger meter, an alarm that goes off, when it seems too good to be true, and of course, it is & is like pepper spray to these honorable ones who’d step up to the plate, your plate, in a minute, but who instead, wait judiciously, for a clear invite. Suffer alone rather than risk strings attached generosity, I get it, I do it, and I’ve had to. From naive poet princess to victimized wife, then to single mum, then to exalted & married into “royalty” ... then demoted, though quite productive still, reduced to struggling artist status, deprived of family, and yet ... there’s a faith which arises when systems fail, as you fall between the cracks. That’s why I love the autumn, and the fresh start that’s somehow enfolded into the crisp, frosty air. The timeless inhalation you imbibe with ecstatic conviction, as you find yourself enrolled, by default, into nature’s archetypal school of true learning. It’s the person you are, as you walk across that quad, kicking leaves, in love with learning and falling in love, all in the same breath. “Baby, don’t you want to go?” Taj Mahal sang it. “Back to that living life city, Sweet home, Kokomo” It’s where I may have left it and where I find myself now, a whole lot later in life.”
